Marriage, Balance, Priorities

What do you all do to keep your marriages refreshed, new, rejuvenated!?

date night? weekend retreats? gifts? read books together? set goals together?

We are constantly working our marriage. We want it to last for eternity.. but we don't just want it to LAST...we want it to be successful and the best it can be! We want it to be EXCELLENT not just good. We have a higher standard than just simple staying together forever. We want to be great examples for others! We know that statistically 6 out of 10 of our friends will get divorced.. we don't want those stats to be true for people around us!

But YES marriage IS hard! Very hard sometimes. It's the most challenging yet most rewarding relationship you can have this side of heaven.

Before we were married, we had SOO much time together because I was in college and so I had a lot of time to pour into us....but then my life did a complete 180!! We had a LOT of changes in a VERY short amount of time! I went from a single college student to a graduate with a full time job, married and then pregnant within 4 months!!

Raymond was not planned by us only by God... and when I found out I was pregnant I was shocked, excited, thrown for a loop, scared! Kids were not even in our mind to tell you the truth, we were totally content just being 'us'. We were soo happy to finally be married and just start our life together. I don't know why God trusted us with Raymond... but I can say now that Raymond was the best thing to happen to me/us. But we really didn't have any time to prepare how we would do things... what goals we would have. A game plan. We hadn't even had time to work on our marriage yet and already our family was growing! And to tell you the truth we need to work on a lot of things that we have let slide during all this transitional time.

Our life was so much more simple pre-Raymond... now it's WAY better but a lot more complex! :) I personally have more time now than I ever have in my life.... but we have a lot less time together. I don't think God intended us to live this way. Husband working 40+ hours a week spending more time with his coworkers than his wife. I just don't believe that's the way it should be... and I think most of my generation feels that in their gut too. I just don't like the lifestyle that the traditional job/career path offers. Brandon and I have been around too many successful entrepreneurs to do this job thing too much longer. We are looking forward to doing something together and spending a lot more time together!! So I'll keep you posted on that!

Anyway... I don't know where I was going with this post.. just expressing some thoughts! :) So my point is... we are going to take a date night this weekend and hopefully plan out some goals we have and changes we need to make in our household.

So reminder of the day: Periodically reflect on how your life is going and make changes to get your priorities in order and life organized. Don't let your lives be so much of a whirlwind you miss it... marriage must remain a top priority in your household. A healthy marriage is the best thing you can do for your kids... so don't ever neglect it. It all starts with your daily habits!

I hope your time, daily habits, and energy reflect where your treasures and priorities are. And most importantly....make sure to give to God first: your time, tithes and talents... everything you have is His anyway. If you do so, He will bless you in all other areas of your life.

PopPop's Eulogy

I wanted to share this... written by my mom for PopPop's eulogy:



Eulogy for Russell Monroe Murphy 7/9/91 by Glennie Jo Wolfe, his daughter

When the doctor called the night of July 3rd to tell us that my Dad was in trouble, I did two things I knew he and Mom would do --- I prayed and I reached for my Bible. One verse jumped out at me: Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."



Daddy's treasure wasn't money. His treasures were God, his country, his family and his friends.



Dad loved God. He looked forward to going to church and hearing each sermon. He'd taught a Sunday School clasds ever since I could remember. I know that he made a difference in a lot of lives--- one little boy of six who'd had Dad for a teacher grew up to be a missionary in Venezuela and made sure he came back to let Dad know before he went overseas.



I don't know for sure how many times Dad read the Bible through from cover to cover but I know he read it daily. It leaves a real impression on a child to see her father reading the Bible for pure enjoyment and not just in times of trouble.



Dad was so proud of his country. He truly loved the United States and did his best to instill tha tlove in me, my children and the people he met. He was a patriot even when patriotism wasn't in style. He loved to display the American flag and even put flag stickers in his greeting cards. Several of Dad's friends have mentioned that it seemed fitting somehow that Dad died on the 4th of July.



The picture above the coffin is of Dad when he was 4 years old. It was taken for his brother Milton who was in France in World War I at the time. Dad recited a poem while dressed up as a soldier that day:


"I'm a little soldier In the army, too. Jesus is my captain He will see me through."



He loved each of his grandchildren and made sure that everyone he met knew that he had the smartest, best-looking and most athletic ones around. He constantly encouraged them and assured them that he loved them. He was always interested in me and my life and worked hard for me.



He was a completely family-oriented man. He loved telling stories of when he and his nephew Barney were young and how much fun he'd had growing up on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. He dearly loved his brothers and sisters and tried to keep close to his sisters Kathleen and Pauline even though the miles separated them.



Dad and Mom were married 48 years. Dad loved Mom and she took better care of him than any wife I've seen. They prayed together (which is probably one reason for their long marriage). They also laughed--Daddy was a tease. One of my fondest childhood memorie is of Mom chasing Dad in game at a church picnic. Dad enjoyed those picnics and the church softball gamesd. It seemed to me that he could hit the ball farther than any of the other dads. He loved meeting people and making new friends. He had a real gift for telling a funny story and putting people at ease.



Dad certainly loved life itself. He'd take a mound of dirt in our backyard and grow the most beautiful flowers and vegetables to share with his family and friends. He was generous and loving. On Father's Day last month, I sent him a card with flowers on it and told him how any time I saw beauty in nature I thought of him. Now I always will. I told Dad in that card that I was proud of him. I'm so glad I had the chance to tell him that because I really was lucky to have him for my father.

My Favorite Veteran & his war story

The Veteran that is most special to me is my grandfather, Russell Murphy. My mom's father. My mom's mom, his wife, is Evelyn.... my biggest life influencer and hero that just went to heaven this Mother's Day 2007.

One of the first things I will want to see from God's perspective is why my PopPop had to die when he did. I wish I could have gotten to know him more. I was little, about 9 when he went to heaven... and my grandma was never the same after he passed. I have learned soo much from him from my memories and what my grandma and mom have taught me about him. When grandma and PopPop were married, they became one, and I really don't think that after he passed, she was okay with functioniong and staying here on this earth without him. I don't know why it was his time....maybe some day I will.

But, I do know now that I am soo thankful that God protected PopPop through his service in World War II. In fact every American should be thankful that God protected my grandfather. My grandfather served in the 29th Infantry Division. This division on D-Day, June 1944 stormed ashore on Omaha Beach to win a beachhead. And during eleven months of combat that followed in 4 major campaigns (Normandy, Northern France, Rhineland and Central Europe) had nearly 20,000 casualties that were killed wounded and missing.

We went to see Saving Private Ryan when it was released... and we couldn't watch it. The opening scenes on Omaha Beach were heartbreaking for us. The conditions were described as unbearable.. it was hard even to watch in the theatre and to know that is what PopPop had to endure, and that was just the start of the combat experiences. Any serviceman who got through those first days I know were just saved by Divine intervention. I'm so glad grandma didn't see the movie....it would have been too much for her. She is the most wise woman I know... she said she would definitely not see the movie becaue if God intended her to see war, he would have brought her to it or brought it to her. And I agree... I can't watch war movies like that anymore for one because there's no way a movie can truly capture what it was like for these men and I don't want to pretend I understand what they went through. Also, I'm sure my PopPop would have never wanted me to see what he had to....

....He fought over THERE so I would NOT have to see war here.

In the Washington Post in 1988, there was an article written that included portions of my grandfather's story. I have the article saved away, but I can't get it out right now.. so I will just insert here the synopsis that just has the photos and captions from the first page of the article.....

The Washington Post (pre-1997 Fulltext) - Washington, D.C.
Author: Charles Babcock
Date: Nov 6, 1988
Section: MAGAZINE
Text Word Count: 5226
Clues to the mystery of [Ray Babcock]'s experiences in World War II

PHOTO

CAPTION:Babcock's friend [Russell Murphy], above, with the battalion's only working radio, just after crossing the Roer River in February 1945. Murphy won a Bronze Star for his actions that day.

PHOTO

CAPTION:Russell Murphy, left, by now Company I's communications sergeant, and the author's father, Ray Babcock, by now the company's first-sergeant, in Bremen, Germany, on July 30, 1945, during the early days of the Occupation. Left, Babcock's Bronze Star and Purple Heart medals.

PHOTO

CAPTION:Russell Murphy at Company I's reunion last July, holding a photograph of his basic-training outfit. Left, the 29th Division's shoulder patch. The unit is called the Blue-Gray Division because elements of it fought on both sides during the Civil War. The insignia can still be seen on the walls of a hospital in St. Lo^, France.

PHOTO

CAPTION:Al Ungerleider, left, Russell Murphy and [Marshall Chern] visit the grave of a 115th Regiment comrade at the cemetery above Omaha Beach where thousands of Americans are buried. The three journeyed to France in September to dedicate a memorial to the 29th Division. Right, a map traces the battle path of the division from June 6, 1944, to May 7, 1945.

Like that first caption reads, Pop Pop did have the only working radio after crossing the Roer River.... you may remember a whole portion of Saving Private Ryan that included a story line almost exact to PopPop's experiences. It seems to be loosely based on his experiences. So that is why we should ALL be thankful that it was not PopPop's time until 1992. Who knows what would have happened if he also did not make it off the beachheads, or if his radio was also broken, or if he was not able to perform his duty for whatever othe reason. The radioman's job was one of the hardest. Imagine having to perform, and be as quick as everybody else but carry a huge pack on your back and also protect yourself. Those radios were not a little walkie talkie, they were huge and heavy!

PopPop made it through the war basically unharmed (physically) yet I'm sure it did some damage to his heart. I always remember him as being a gentle, Jesus loving, God fearing man. I don't remember him being bitter, or beaten down or knocked down at all... though I'm sure he came back from WWII a different man than he went.

I am so proud to be PopPop's granddaughter. He always had the upmost respect for our flag, our country, our traditions, our ideals and our history. He knew what he fought for! He was so proud of what he was fighting for. When I see how disrespectful and familiar some people are with our traditions and even our flag, I sometimes think.. I'm glad PopPop didn't have to see this.

Thank you so much God for PopPop... when I go to heaven will I be able to talk to him about our experiences here on earth or will all this not matter anymore? I have so many things I want to tell PopPop about and I want him to know that he did pass on his love for God and country to all of us! I want him to be proud of me! I want him to know that I try my best to respect and stick up for the values he loved and fought for! I want to hear anything he will tell me about the war. I remember him telling lots of great stories when I was little..but I was too young to appreciate them.

I love my PopPop!!!!!!!!

http://www.29thdivision.com/

Christmas, Mary, Jesus, and new song by Sarah Evans & Brad Paisley

This song and video touched me. The pain I felt as I was able to get a teeny teeny glimpse into Mary's world was real to me as I am now a mother... and it was a pain I couldn't endure. I never really thought about Jesus from Mary's perspective until I became a mom. The story took on a whole new meaning and reached into a deeper part of me.

I wrote an email to my friends and family about this mother/son relationship and the Christmas season back in December 2006 and I just found it, and I wanted to post it here:

Hey everybody! Christmas is almost here! Can you believe it!? Below is another great daily reading I thought I'd share. Isn't it amazing to think how Jesus came into this world?!?!?!? I always feel so much peace looking at Raymond (and babies) especially when they're sleeping --- I think that peace we feel is a universal, God-given internal trait connecting us back to how Jesus came into the world - as a babe in a manger. I can't imagine the feeling the wisemen, etc. got when looking at Jesus.

Sometimes I get so upset that Raymond was born before what I thought was the right time to have him. but I know deep down God's time is always right - but sometimes I just get this feeling like I feel bad for not having more for him..... we had goals we wanted to meet before we had kids, but didn't meet them. I just want soo much for Raymond -- can you imagine how God feels for us then, His children?!?! But as I was rocking Raymond the other day I looked over at his nativity scene and just got so emotional. The spirit was letting me connect to how Mary must have felt. Can you imagine the conversations her and Joseph had?!?! Not only for all the other social problems they were having ---- but Joseph did not even plan ahead to set aside room for them in the Inn -- - so they had to have the baby in a MANGER!!!! THE savior of the world in a manger!!!!! I can't imagine the conversations that took place between them. I'm partly kidding --- but really - Mary has a lot more faith than I do. She knew that God would provide for them and she was probably thankful for the manger. Jesus didn't need a fancy bed or to be born in the Inn. She trusted He truly was the savior and she didn't take it upon herself to take complete control of his life -- She knew whose child he really was... God works in silent ways as it says below. It was a 'silent night' when Jesus was born ---- think of all those people in the Inn and around town that were so 'busy' they didn't even know the savior of the world was just born in their own town.
anyway - just wanted to share my thoughts. would love to hear yours!

From: "PurposeDrivenLife.com" dailydevotionals@purposedrivenlife.com
Reply-To: devotionals@purposedrivenlife.com
To: randirooks@hotmail.com
Subject: December 12, 2006 - Gold amidst the glitter - Daily Devotional
Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2006 05:29:21 -0800


December 12, 2006

Gold amidst the glitterby John Fischer

In the little town of Bethlehem, the most important birth in all of human history took place on what we now consider the first Christmas. It was sparsely attended by some bleating farm animals and a handful of shepherds who wouldn’t have been there had not the sky lit up with a multitude of heavenly hosts only minutes before, praising God and inviting the shepherds to the stable. What an invitation! With the exception of that outburst, however, no one else knew. Oh yes, there were some astrologers from the East who figured out what was going on by studying the stars and some ancient manuscripts, but they didn’t make it to town until at least a year or two later when the baby was a child. Why such an uneventful welcome for such an auspicious event?

It’s God’s way. He’s always been quiet about his work on earth. “How silently, how silently, the wondrous gift was given/So God imparts to human hearts, the blessings of his heaven.” He’s even pretty quiet about the way he works in our lives. Silently, he came into the world; silently, he comes into our hearts. No fanfare. No welcoming committee. God has never been into self-promotion. He lets his work speak for itself.

And that would be you and me. Believers are the result of Christ’s coming. It is all about good news and glad tidings for all people. A Savior has been born and he has been born for us. Or as the angel announced it: “The Savior -- yes, the Messiah, the Lord -- has been born tonight in Bethlehem, the city of David!” (Luke 2:11 NLT)
It occurs to me there are two ways to take all the fanfare and glitter of this season. We can see it as the over-commercialism of Christmas, or we can take all the lights, and gifts, and decorations, and parties, and bells, and carols, and Christmas specials on TV -- even Santa and reindeer in the front yard -- and bank them all as celebrations of the birth of Christ. We can even take the conversion of old Scrooge as the joy of new life and forgiveness of sins.

There’s no law against sanctifying the secularization of Christmas in your own heart and mind. It’s what we make of these things that count, anyway. Every single light can represent another soul secured in eternity as the result of what Christ has accomplished.
There was no room available for the Son of God when he came the first time. Let’s make sure there’s room in our hearts this Christmas, and don’t let anyone take away what is good about the glad tidings of Christ’s birth!

About my accent...

It really is a funny thing how I have this southern accent now. It all started in 2002, when Brandon and I had been dating about a year. I started this horrible habit of copying and making fun of all of my southern friends. And then before you know it...I wasn't really making fun of them, I was talking like them in normal conversation! AAHHHH

So there is a perfect example of how you have to watch your daily habits! Even if you think your daily small decisions aren't affecting you long term, they ARE! It's always the small decisions that make drastic changes! I don't even realize how much my accent has changed until I get around my side of the family or my New Jersey friends. Now I hear them and I think wow I can't believe I used to talk like them!! I watched a home video from 2000 and I thought I sounded soo weird hahaha. Now, some words I'm always going to say like a Yankee... like "talk" "walk" and "dog".... but in general I am no longer Yankee in my speech. I'm stuck in the middle!!

Thanks for your comment Candy, my faithful blog friend!

Video of Raymond laughing -- Part 2! :)

Raymond laughing at his diaper bag - February 2007

FEBRUARY 2007!!! PART ONE! :) I was going through some old pictures and videos and just HAD to add this to my blog hahaha. This was taken at our old house on WoodDale in February 2007... Raymond has always been such a happy joyous baby. I have to get a video of the way he laughs now when we massage his legs!!! Enjoy