Uninhibited

Something on my mind a lot recently....

WHEN do we lose our unhibited youthfulness? Is it those horrible awkward teenage years when all of a sudden anything fun is just not "cool"!? I don't know! WHY do the majority of people lose it? The Bible says that when we are adults, we are supposed to act like adults - but I believe that we have changed what it means to be an adult. Does being an adult mean you always have to be insecure and care what others are thinking? Does it mean you can't be involved in something over the age of 18 unless you are a professional? I don't think so!


It is okay for a 5 or 10 year old to dance on the dance floor at a wedding by themself - but you'd rarely EVER see a 20, 30 or 40 or even 50 year old like that (unless you assume they are extremely intoxicated) ---- or unless they have been able to FREE themselves from being a slave of their own mind - which is just uncommon.

And yet you would see 70, 80, and 90 years old out there regularly and think nothing of it! That is SO intriguing to me!!!! Why can't other people see this!? We are stolen of our joy but who is stealing it!?!? I have so much respect for the elderly and I really connect with them - because they live unhibited lives like children. They have realized that what society says really doesn't matter anyway.

Brandon and I are always the first to eat at the weddings so we can be the first on the dance floor. It's always the two of us and the kids on the dance floor for quite a while - nobody else joins in until much later in the night. It shouldn't be this way!

"Inhibited" according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is: an inner impediment to free activity, expression, or functioning: as a) a mental process imposing restraint upon behavior or another mental process (as a desire)

We are a SLAVE to our own mentality! It's a mental thing. All that has to change is your OWN mindset!!! So fight that mentality. Why do we have to stop doing all the things that are joyful and just plain FUN because we're not great at them. Society tells us that it would be okay for an adult to be dancing in front of everybody by themselves IF they were a good, professional dancer but otherwise it's not okay. And this isn't true in all cultures! It seems to be an American mentality.

Well I am fighting that mentality.... and at Jim & Jennifer's wedding tomorrow -- you better believe we'll be the first ones on the dance floor to get the party started! :)

There's no place like "home"

We just got back (yesterday) from a trip to New Jersey to see my side of the family. Although my home now is wherever Brandon (and now Raymond) are - I'll always call Lake Shawnee in New Jersey where I grew up "home" too. My hometown. It was sooo great to be back.

We flew up on Friday - the flight was pretty horrible because Raymond's teeth/ears were hurting him and all my medicine for him was in the packed bag not the carry on - because they were 4 oz. container instead of 3 oz. container..... So he was miserable - which in turn made me and the poor people squished next to us miserable. It was just so hot - those were the hottest days of the summer in New Jersey too - not just in North Carolina where we left from. It was extremely crowded on the flight which I'm not used to. Once we finally did land (it's only an hour flight thank God for that!) we waited over :40 for somebody from the Newark Airport to come and open the gate. What is WITH Newark Airport anyway!? GEESH. They are the hub for continental - so whenever it's bad weather or some air traffic control person sneezes the wrong way - there's a delay that affects every flight in the whole country. haha. But we made it!! I was soo happy to see MomMOm waiting for us!! We drove home, picked up dinner from Frank's and went back to the house to play. Man I miss that food! They have the best pizza, garlic bread, salad, ziti, everything! I haven't found a pizza place down here at all that compares to that!

on Saturday we went to breakfast at the Diner - Papa couldn't believe how much Raymond eats! haha Then we all (except Roxie & christian since he was sick) went down to Aunt Laurie & Uncle Bill's house near six flags and had a surprise 75th Birthday party for Nana. Her birthday isn't until November -- but since it's so hard to get the family together when it's cold/possible snow/when everybody's in school - summer is the best time.

Nana has 8 kids, 22 grandkids and 11 great grandkids (plus all the spouses) and although not everybody could come - there was a good crowd so I was excited for her. I saw cousins that I hadn't seen in 5 years - some I hadn't seen in 10 and some I hadn't even met!! It was great! It was soo hot - you'd think I'd be used to it being down in North Carolina but I'm not! I'm glad they had the kiddie pool set up for the babies.

You could tell we were all from the same blood - all the little ones that were there had blond hair blue eyes!

On Sunday we just played at the house. There are so many fun toys at MomMoms. Papa took Raymond for a bike ride! We went for walks down to the beach and to the elementary school down the road. We saw swans, ducks, and of course stupid geese haha and at night we went to 2nd beach where we played at the park - on the swings and slide.

I'll have to do a post on Lake Shawnee where I grew up. But basically it's just a fairy tale. It's a small lake community - I think there are 500 - 600 houses and it's a private community with only 2 entrances and 1 exit. People can't believe that such a peaceful, quiet, small town community could exit in NorthWest New Jersey. I always appreciated the lake - but I appreciate it soo much more now that I live on the coast. I LOVED seeing the mountains/hills and seeing everything so GREEN. We have a lot of sand, palm trees and flatness -- so this was a great change of scenery. I love Lake Shawnee and I loved going home. I especially love it up there in the summer and fall - and I haven't been up there just to have fun in sooo long. It was such a great trip. I loved being able to walk around the lake and recognize so many people. I LOVED seeing old friends and friends that have known me for so long and to have people be soo excited to meet Raymond. I also came across people I was trying to avoid -- but that is the catch 22 of a small community.

Hunter came and played Sunday night while Bonesy hung up shutters for MomMom and Papa. Then on Monday we went to the beach. I LOVED watching Raymond in the water of course. and I loved being in there myself. I took some great pictures of the lake, some beautiful trees, and views.... and my memory card had an error so I can't retrive the pictures! I am sooo disappointed!! So I told MomMom she just HAS to get soem pictures for me. I miss it up there so much. It's so beautiful --- so beautiful in fact that it will be on an upcoming episode of Guiding Light real soon!!

Lisa kayak-ed over while Raymond was sleeping and was even able to spend some time with him after he woke up so that was great. It was great to see her. We will always be best buddies. We can go forever not seeing each other or even talking that much - and then we're together again and it's like nothing's changed, except we both have changed a lot. We still have a great connection -- and always will. I love how I have grown since I lived in Lake Shawnee. Going back there brings so many memories up --- and I can even feel a glimpse of what I used to be like when I lived there... and it makes me proud that I have grown so much. In so many ways I'm not the same person at all. One of the things I see a difference in myself is my patience and my acceptance of others. I just appreciate people so much more -- especially people that have been a part of my life for so long. I have learned that friends and people are going to disappoint me.... but I stll need to seek out the good in everybody. I have to just accept them for who they are, appreciate the good parts pray for the bad parts of them. I can't get frustrated over tiny things about people that bother me, that I can't control. Really, that's between them and God - and I am no better than them so any time I feel critical I'm learning to bite my tongue and just put my eyes on my own faults, God knows I have so many. I'm glad to have moved on from Lake Shawnee...and I have so much peace and just feel happy about the woman I have become -- and am still becoming.

Tuesday we spent the day at Roxie's - they have such a fun home. Beautiful spacious house, lots of land, a pool, swing set, sand pit, so many fun toys! Raymond LOVED it! He even took a real long nice nap in the afternoon and we had a great day over there. Marilyn and Nicole came over and that was just awesome! Just like Lisa - they are some of our best friends and that bond won't be broken. I was so happy to see them. Bonesy grilled out steaks for us - and Raymond ate it all up along with his watermelon, pickle, and Hunter's spaghetti. He's a great eater and sleeper - I am so blessed.

Mom had done such a great job on the house. Everything was decorated so nice and smelled just the way I remember it. Man I miss living with them. Yet I love my life now.

While I was up there, I even found some special treats .....pictures of Mom, Dad, PopPop and Grandma that I hadn't seen before. Knowing how special these people are to me and knowing how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE history and memories... you can imagine how excited I was to find these:

I love how friendly Raymond is. That makes me proud. He is so funny with people. At the airport he was just waving at every single person we passed. Which is a lot of people! I love that he thinks that everybody is family. He thinks everybody is going to come and wave and smile at him and hug or pick him up or play. We were standing near this crowd of Middle Eastern men who were being really confrontational about something and causing a scene and it was pretty intimidating to me. If I didn't have to go through the door they were near, I would have left right away - but I had to wait in line right near them.... instead of being scared of the loud noises, angry tones, or men that looked a lot different... when we got right up on them... Raymond just started talking and smiling and doing his silly little wave that I've never seen any other baby do haha I don't know where he learned that wave. And the men were shocked! It actually stopped them in their argument and they turned and were talking to him and waving and being silly.

Nothing like a baby to solve the world's problems. Why can't we all be as friendly? I continue to talk to people all the time and smile at everybody so Raymond will learn that same trait - I think it's a people skill and just a healthy habit that is a lost art. I think it's so sad. I'm not going to teach Raymond to be afraid of strangers - I'm going to teach him to smile and show love and acceptance to everybody he meets.

That was a long post -- geesh! I guess I had a lot on my mind. But the bottom line is -- we had a great trip!! I miss it already - but it sure was sooo good to come back to Lennox & Brandon. I can't even describe how excited Raymond was when he saw Brandon - it was unreal haha. He had a spaz attack haha. So cute! I wish I had the camera

When we got home to our 'real' home... we went to Andy's - Raymond waved and 'made conversation' with everybody in there. Then we went to the dollar store and everybody was allowed to pick out one treat!! We had a CSX train pass on on the way home that we had to stop for....which always excites me and we even got to see a coupole of horses walking down our street! Oh how great life is! It is filled with so much beauty and interesting things!! I love seeing things like the freight trains and cargo ships coming in to port. It's just amazing to me that there are still those things in the high tech world we're in. I love things like that... I can't even describe the word for them... old, traditional? classic? primitive? what is that word... I don't know. But whatever it is - I love it!

I love that little things like a train passing us, seeing a freight train and seeing horses can make my night --- I am so easy to please.

Life is good - God is great.

Wilmington

(I'm just journaling this to share some information with friends and family about where we call home. I love all these things I am learning about it!)

I have been wanting to go the farmer's market downtown on the Cape Fear river forever and we were finally able to go this morning. Downtown is literally 3 miles from our home we but we rarely go! That's what is so cool about Leland - it's so 'country' I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere sometimes - but then 3 miles away is Wilmington downtown! and 15 miles driving is the beach!

Raymond is teething so bad (his 4 molars are all breaking at the same time!) so we were glad to get out of the house even in this North Carolina heat! There were so many other strollers and doggies to look at so Raymond was happy and I was happy that we could get out! We didn't buy anything although I was extremely tempted to get some of the homegrown herbs, and vegetables and even paintings! But we did see some friends from Brandon's home town that sell roses and they gave us 8 BEAUTIFUL roses that they grow for free! And here they are on the dining room table with placemats I got from grandma that we hadn't used yet!! :)

I really love Wilmington. I've been here since 2001 when I came for school and they have made soo many great improvements in the past years. It is so much more community oriented and just so much more to do! There's always something going on!

I love how they describe it on the Wilmington.net site (here's another site I liked http://www.northcarolinatravels.com/wilmington/ )

This charming port city is located in the southeastern corner of North Carolina between the Cape Fear River and the Atlantic Ocean. Although not just a tourist town, Wilmington has become a popular destination because of its moderate, four-season climate, historic preservation district, annual events such as Riverfest and the Azalea Festival, and numerous championship golf courses. In addition, nearby Wrightsville Beach is a Mecca for sailors, surfers, sunbathers, beachcombers and seafood lovers.


The city has more than 97,000 residents (67% rise in population in 10 years) and is home to the University of North Carolina at Wilmington. It is also home to a regional visual and performing arts center, a regional medical center and to Screen Gems Studios - North Carolina, one of the largest motion picture and television studios outside of Hollywood.Wilmington, the county seat of New Hanover County, was incorporated in 1739 and was originally situated on seven hills located on the east side of the Cape Fear River. It was named in honor of Spencer Compton, Earl of Wilmington, who was a patron of North Carolina’s Governor at the time. To this day, visitors are reminded of its rich history by the grand old homes and tree-lined boulevards making Wilmington one of the most beautiful small cities in the south.


It's just an awesome city - so diverse with so much history. I'm actually reading a book about the Civil War right now and it talks about Wilmington a lot and about Ft. Fischer a lot. Wilmington is on the Cape Fear River and Ft. Fischer is on the Cape Fear near the Atlantic Ocean - basically where the river connects to the Atlantic Ocean. I LOVE history and look forward to digging more into the history of Wilmington. I know there's a lot of history of pirating - BlackBeard, etc. I'll get reading and write more soon!

We live about a mile from the Brunswick River which is a tributary to the Cape Fear -- here's Brandon & Raymond looking out at that river on one of our family days last week:

(Here's a picture of the USS North Carolina from our walk at the Farmer's Market today and then the bridge we go over all the time. Wilmington's on the left side of the bridge - Leland is on the right. We moved across the bridge to Leland in May of this year! That bridge is on almost every episode of Dawson's Creek I swear haha....... I love that it took us 3 minutes to get downtown -- we don't go nearly as often as we should!!)

I loved it when I first came here because it had the ocean (which was a key factor for me when choosing a college - had to be near the ocean)... but it still had the downtown/business/historic area too - it's not too big, not too small. It is sort of by itself in the SouthEast corner of the state away from the other big North Carolina cities. I love it! As well as the University of North Carolina at Wilmington where I went to school, the beaches (Wrightsville Beach being my favorite), and downtown on the Cape Fear River --- it also has one of the best film studios on the east coast, Screen Gem Studios. It's most famous for being the home of Dawson's Creek - they taped all the episodes here in Wilmington and surrounding cities. http://www.geocities.com/dcghosts/filmlocations.htm





And along with Dawson's Creek and now One Tree Hill... here are some of the movies filmed in Wilmington (most popular in bold):



Bolden! - wrapping productions soon
Nights in Rodanthe - coming out soon! A Nicholas Sparks novel
The Marc Pease Experience
Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever
Three Words and a Star
Twisted
Hounddog
The Beautiful Ordinary
The List
Dead Heist
White Men Can't Dance
Idlewild
Forgiven
RedMeansGo
Dirt Nap
Southern Belles
Loggerheads
20 Funerals
The Last Summer
A Touch of Fate
The Angel Doll
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
New Best Friend
A Walk to Remember
The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys
Black Knight
Domestic Disturbance
Summer Catch
Kyoko
Longshadow
Bruno
Takedown
28 Days
The Pavillion
Morgan's Ferry
Waterproof
The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland
Muppets from Space
Virus
A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries
Enchanted
Black Dog
Shadrach
The Cutoff
Dreams and Wishes
Off-Season
The Night Flier
The Jackal
Bloodmoon
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Lolita
This World, Then the Fireworks
Traveller
The Grave
Horry Story
To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday
My Teacher's Wife
Empire Records
Fall Time
Once Upon a Time... When We Were Colored
Stateside
The Road to Wellville
Radioland Murders
It Runs in the Family
The Crow
Chasers
The Hudsucker Proxy
Houshold Saints
Super Mario Bros.
Amos and Andrew
Alan & Naomi
The Butcher's Wife
Rambling Rose
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret of the Ooze
Sleeping with the Enemy
Billy Bathgate
29th Street
Tune in Tomorrow
The Exorcist III
Betsy's Wedding
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Loose Cannons
Everybody Wins
Little Monsters
Weekend at Bernie's
Collision Course
Cyborg
Dream a Little Dream
Dracula's Widow
Track 29
Traxx
Date with an Angel
Hiding Out
Weeds
The Squeeze
From the Hip
The Bedroom Window
No Mercy
King Kong Lives
Crimes of the Heart
Trick or Treat
Manhunter
Blue Velvet
Raw Deal
Silver Bullet
Marie
Year of the Dragon
Cat's Eye
Firestarter


Some of my other favorite things in Wilmington besides the beach, downtown and filming areas are:

• oak trees! (my favorite road in Wilmington is a road covered in oak trees that opens up to overlook the waterway -just gorgeous - Airlie Road - in a lot of Dawson's Creek episodes too) I LOVE oak trees - there is something so romantic about them.


• The annual Azalea Festival --- pictures below - I LOVE the azalea's and love the belles in their dresses and garden hats and gentleman from the Citadel - a piece of history revived every year!


• Airlie Gardens - just gorgeous and again lots of history
• I just love the history in general - the old southern plantations around the city... and even the buildings and houses right in downtown -- I have to take a picture of 3rd street - with all the oak trees, huge porches, sidewalks - I love it! I would LOVE to go back in history 100 - 150 years ago but ONLy for a day!

a bad day - but a blessed life

Ever have a day (month, year?) that you just feel .... inadequate, not up to par, not successful at your roles? I feel like I'm always second -guessing myself in the mom role. It's just that it happened so suddenly - yes I had 6 months (I found out when I was 3 months pregnant) to prepare - but it was so unexpected.... I couldn't believe GOd would trust me with such an incredibly HUGE responsibility and role.... and sometimes I feel like I'm failing at it....

I don't even know where to start this journal entry --- except to say I guess I just had a bad day. This morning I did something that is SOOO unlike me - ms. planner & ms. organized. I ran out of gas on my way to Raymond's doctor's appointment. I knew I had very little gas - but I just didn't feel like stopping last night so I figured I'd get it this morning. It said I had 30 more miles -- and the gas station is within walking distance from my house. I didn't even make it out of my development and it ran out. I guess that's how much the A.C. uses gas - I don't know.

I probably could have just pushed the car to the station it was so close... but how was I supposed to do that? Have Raymond steer while I push? So I felt like such a loser - I had to get Raymond in the stroller in this unbearable heat (thank you God it wasn't as hot as last week -- and thank you God it was right near the house and gas station) to the gas station, buy a canister, fill it with some gas and walk back to the car. By the time I got back to the car I was DRENCHED. and tired and unhappy but still thankful it happened where it did. Then I had the wonderful task of trying to figure out how this thing worked. With a crying (hot) baby who doesn't feel good already - I could barely concentrate enough to read the instructions on this stupid canister. Through my sweat (and tears) I almost made out the words and then just said -- forget it, I'll force it open... there was all this safety "stuff" to protect the can from not opening --- but that sure didn't help me - it sure did open and open all over my hands and shoes. :(

Then I read the label and it says in huge warning letters - be careful - gasoline fumes are harmful keep yourself and children away from gasoline at all times, etc. etc..... as if I didn't feel like a bad enough mother already. I went through about 30 baby wipes trying to get the gas off of everything - but still tonight I smell nothing but gasoline. I FINALLY figured out how to get the spicket thingy to be able to pour the gas into the car... and we were off to the doctor's - sweaty and crying (both of us). Good thing I left early to let Raymond catch a cat nap in the car.

We were going for Raymond's well check --- and the last time I went to the doctor I reminded myself NEVER to go again without a helper. This time I am writing it down to remind myself -- NEVER EVER go to the doctor again without Brandon there with you or a helper! Raymond is SOO extremely strong and very strond minded and independent - and he is soo hard to handle when he's tired, doesn't feel good or doesn't want to be somewhere. Right now he naps twice a day still - and when he misses that good morning nap - he's about impossible. I literally can not control him sometimes. I think a lot of it has to do with his frustrations. It requires a lot of patience to deal with him when he throws a frustration tantrum -- patience I don't have all the time. :( He's had constant teething which causes ear infections and he must not feel good a lot of the time. But he just tires sooo hard to be happy though --- he's always so smiling and tries to always have fun - but gets frustrated so easy. I didn't realize that his crankiness was because he didn't feel good. He really doesn't say any words, isn't walking at all - and has had quite a few ear infections (well 2 that were diagnosed - and I have feeling there were a lot more). He has fluid in his ears - and they really aren't sure how much he hears -- although mommy knows that he definitely does hear -- he knows his name and he LOVES to dance to any sort of music he hears! But I just don't know how clear he hears. Something I brought up to the doctor months ago, that was just shrugged off as a paranoid mom fear.

I was born almost 100 % deaf --- and I had to get tubes in my ears three times before it finally worked well enough for me to HEAR. Once that 3rd set went in, I took my first step and starting talking up a storm (but don't worry - I've made up for the times I missed not talking).

I know that Raymond's hearing is definitely better than mine -I'll be curious what the ears/throat/nose doctor says on Thursday.

Raymond was also born with an enlarged kidney (they actually caught it while he was in the womb) and so we've been having to go to ultrasounds every 6 months. Our next one is in a month. I hope that isn't why he gets fevers so often --- and why he sleeps so much - I don't know though. The doctors don't seem concerned about it at all.

The other things the doctor changed was that we are officially tonight stopping the bottle. He's still been having his bottle before his bath after dinner (with Next Step formula) but now we're quitting that cold turkey - and doing milk and sippy cups only. And his favorite toy - his walker - is now folded up and sitting in the top of his closet.... he has always walked on his tip toes (my brother did the same thing)... but the doctor thinks it's making it worse to only walk with the walker -- since he's always pushing it around - and we push with our toes not our heels -- so that makes sense to me. So the walker is bye bye... but he won't miss it once he is running all over the house without it. I can't believe how fast this guy goes with the walker though - it's incredible haha. He turns corners so fast and literally RUNS - sometimes I can't even keep up with him running - he's so fast. I look forward to him running around without it - he'll be so cute walking and running around!

I just feel like I have done so much wrong as a mom. It's the hardest job EVER --- yet anybody can qualify for it..... and it's not really praised or appreciated (which quite frankly I'm used to --- being a good athlete and good student - I'm used to constant rewards and praise when I excelled).

I just feel like a failure some days... but I know true failure only comes when you quit. Right now I'm just making a LOT of mistakes that I need to learn from.... but I don't think Raymond deserves a mom that makes mistakes!!!!!!!!!!! Starting off those first days when I was starving Raymond and couldn't understand why he was crying.

He was trying to tell me he was hungry and I would just pass him to Brandon or MomMom because I couldn't comfort him and I thought he was getting milk but he wasn't. So I believe I lost a lot of ability to comfort him then. I think I lost some of his trust :(... Then when we finally got that figured out (day 3 of his life) I got the worst mastisis (mastitis?) and was miserable anytime he nursed. I would just cry and cry.... and I had the worst baby blues - sometimes I would even scream when he was nursing. Losing his trust even more -and losing that bond. I had the worst baby blues for a while. I would give him to Brandon a lot the first months - I didn't have any confidence and those first weeks didn't help that at all. I felt like a failure - and I felt God had really messed up giving me this huge huge huge huge responsibility.

Then Raymond thrived - he slept, ate and did everything so well. I was on cloud nine - we had a great rest of the year.... and was so proud of myself and how I was keeping up the home and being a good wifey and taking care of Raymond. The only thing that I had a negative feeling about was how attached he was to Brandon and not me... I think it has to do with the mistakes I made the first months. And the fact that when Raymond gets sick which has almost been monthly... when he gets sick - he runs to Brandon.

Whenever he was sick up until a month ago - I'd let Brandon comfort him. Either when we were home - I was the one who was calling the doctor, calling the nurse line, finding the tylenol,etc. etc. and Brandon would be comforting him.... There were too many other details I had to work out so I just let Brandon take care of him...... but if I could do it all over again -- I'd say Brandon do this do this do this - and I would take Raymond!!

I don't mean to complain -- I just say all that to say.... I hope that Raymond knows I love him. My love language is words - and so I don't necessarily feel loved by him yet. I feel like he loves Brandon the most and that I'm just his caretaker for when Brandon's not around. I just feel like a terrible mom sometimes. It's my fault he hasn't progressed like he has - and it's my fault he isn't as connected to me as he should be. I never wanted him attached to me - I'm not into the attachment-parenting thing ---- but I certainly wanted to have a great bond with him. So from now on, I don't care if I have to do all the details AND hold Raymond - I am going to comfort him when he's sick!

So all that being said... I just feel like a mess today. And when you're having a negative day --- you just see everything else through negatives glasses. All I see when I look at my beautiful home is the dog hair everywhere that I haven't cleaned - the pile of papers I need to file but haven't and the books I have been wanting to read but haven't... when you're feeling like a loser --- all you can see is other things that support that opinion.

So I'm going to go to bed and I'll just start over tomorrow. When I wake up I will say, "I am a child of God - the only and only King. Therefore I am a princess and I am a great mom, wife and friend. I do my best for my family and I am not hard on myself at all. I love myself and I am beautiful inside and out." So that's my positive reinforcement speaking for myself when I wake up tomorrow. I'm so thankful that this is what is a bad day for me. My bad days are still better than the GOOD days of 80% of this world's population.

I am so blessed. There's always some sunshine amidst the clouds.

Wolfe Family Vacation 2007

Wolfe Family Vacation 2007

Location: Rehoboth Beach, Delaware --- Surf & New Castle

Dates: July 21st - July 28th

Who attended: Papa "Daddy Cat" Wolfe, MomMom "MamaWolfe/Cita" Wolfe, Ryan Wolfe, Ryan Warner, Roxie Warner, Hunter Warner, Christian Warner, Brandon Rooks, Randi Rooks, Raymond Rooks

What took place:

Friday

Our vacation started! After daddy got home from work, we jumped in the car and headed to my in laws to get 2 1/2 hours closer to Delaware! We stopped at Bojangles and Raymond ate a lot of chicken, green beans and mashed potatoes! He had a great time smiling at the little girls and boys in there - he loooves little kids! :) Vacation was off to a good start! We got to Rocky Mount and Raymond went to bed nice and early. Nobody was at the house in Rocky Mount so we just got to hang out just the two of us in the big space so it was nice and quiet! :) They are selling that house really soon to downsize - I will really miss that big house in the country - I have such great memories there and I just LOVE that house.

Saturday

Raymond's 1st Birthday!! I was sooo excited I could barely sleep so I was up at around 6, hopped into the shower and got Brandon up. At 6:45 I couldn't wait any longer - we woke Raymond up put him in the car and just let him sleep in there!

He had breakfast in the car. A nutrigrain bar, apple juice and lots of fruit (his first time having a cherry - it was in his fruit cup and he loved it!). For his special day, he wore his onesie that says, "when God created me He was just showing off". He was sooo good on the car ride: making all kinds of new noises, sleeping, playing with his toys, eating!

We were so blessed on the car ride - we were on 64 headed towards Virgnia Beach to cross the Chesapeake over to the Delmarva Peninsula and all of a sudden up ahead we saw standstill really bad traffic with all these signs about expecting delays - so I looked at the map and Brandon said should I get off this exit? And within a second I was like yes ahh go and he quickly cut over and we just made it. If we had seen the traffic a second later we couldn't have made the exit. That exit cut us right over to the bridge/tunnel. It was perfect!

It was $12 to take the Chesapeake Bay Bridge/Tunnel - that seemed like a lot to me! Now I really do sound like an adult! haha.... We got to the vacation house at 2:00. Raymond was starting to really get tired - he had the giggles... it was great timing, we pulled in th edriveway right after the rest of the family arrived from New Jersey. They got to take the ferry from NJ to DE, which I have such great memories of growing up. I was soo excited to see the house we were staying in. 5 bedrooms - a nice big screened porch and right on the ocean and boardwalk. It was perfect. So perfect my parents already rented it for next year!! We unloaded all our stuff - within minutes MomMom and Papa had so many toys out and playing with Hunter and Raymond haha.

We walked to get pizza on the boardwalk and ice cream for Raymond's birthday! I really wanted him to try his first taste of ice cream (my favorite food/treat EVER) at the Royal Treat - our favorite place to eat on vacation - a place I have soo many wonderful memories of.

His first time having ice cream - he didn't know what to think about it. He was tired more than anything but he seemed to enjoy it.

We went back to the house, opened up presents and then it was soon time for bottle bath and bed.

(Looking back now, I can definitely tell Raymond was teething. Trying to get his foot in his mouth to chew.)

(Everybody laughing as Raymond is now trying to get Hunter's hand to chew - his foot wasn't good enough)

A great first birthday - I'm so so so glad he was able to spend it with my family.

(Another beautiful sunset - MAN I LOOVE sunsets the most. Here's Brandon as he and I head out for fun - MomMom stayed at the house to listen for Raymond - what a great MomMom. )



Sunday

Woke up early (well early for Raymond - 6:50), walked the boardwalk met at the Royal Treat!

I have so many wonderful memories of this place growing up. It's this 4 story building - that used to be a hotel that is now a breakfast spot and ice cream parlor. You can eat on the first floor - inside or out on the screened porch. The workers stay on the upper levels. Nothing had changed - just the way I wanted it! The screened porch with the same old chairs and circle tables - the smell of maple syrup and the summer seabreezes. I can't even describe all the smells, sounds, feelings I have about the Royal Treat - it was just great to be back! Raymond LOVED the food - he had ham, toast, panckakes - a treat indeed! Raymond then went on a bike ride with Papa and we all walked back to the house. Back down for a nap at 9:15 - I could tell the trip had gotten to him - he was so cranky and tired acting which is unusual in a new place. Usually when there's fun to be had and new people to play with - he is 'wide open' but not today!

went to the beach when he woke up - swam in the baby pool with Hunter and had lunch on the beach. Then we went on the rides - the carousel with mommy, helicoptor with daddy, boats, and daddy went on Chaos (I would definitely puke) while Raymond slept.

Tonight was MomMom & Papa's night to stay at the house while everybody else went out. So we all went to Dos Locos and enjoyed the margaritas while MomMom and Papa babysat. I bet it was cute to see dad pulling the wagon with the 2 of them in matching shirts eating thrasher's french fries (BEST EVER french fries -- possibly my 2nd favorite food ever) and ice cream (my first favorite food). We all enjoyed Dos Locos and then went on the Haunted Mansion! I love that everything is walking distance!! It was a really fun night - nice to be together with the siblings

(Ryan and then Roxie & bonesy coming out of the haunted mansion. Nice to see that Roxie got over her fear and was able to keep your eyes open this time!haha )

Monday

We had breakfast at the house, went on bikes and wagon throughout the day.

We played skeeball - man I love that game! haha I had the high score of the day :) and won a prize of course. And the boys went on the rides again!

Tonight we stayed at the house while everybody went out. I really enjoyed putting Hunter to sleep. He's just so gentle and timid -- TOTALLY opposite of Raymond. We just laid together and he just fell asleep without a whimper. Raymond never whimpers at night either - but I'm never in there with Raymond to watch him fall asleep so this was a special treat. What a sweetheart Hunter is (and Raymond is too of course - but just shows it in different ways). Christian started crying and Brandon and I went in there to see what we could do - but Roxie came in the door right then - thank God - you have to do things just right for him or he'll cry himself into a panic and wake everybody up - so I was glad they got home right then! But it was another great day!

(Having a BIG bite of apple with MomMom)

Tuesday

Back to the Royal Treat for breakfast, Brandon and Papa both went on bike rides with Raymond. Went on the rides again - so we just went through the normal routine again. We were blessed with great weather the whole week - thank God for that! It was definitley hot but not as hot as North Carolina (of course) so it was good for us. The water was way too cold though - the babies couldn't go in so that's why we filled that pool for them. That's also why everybody has to use umbrellas there - you can't cool off in the water - it's too cold to get in. But one or 2 days I did jump in after playing Bocce ball on the hot sand. Roxie & Bonesy babysat tonight while we all went to Jake's Seafood which was SOO good! Man - those were the best stuffed shrimp I had ever had - and that's saying a lot considering we live in Southeastern North Carolina! It was great! We got ice cream - went on the Sea Dragon - which is just so fun to be able to see the ocean while you're on the ride and then we played Rook.

Poor little Raymond really didn't feel good at all today.

Wednesday/Thursday/Friday

Wednesday and Thursday were about the same - but I knew something was wrong with Raymond by Tuesday afternoon. He wasn't his perky normal self and he was sleeping a LOT - a lot more than normal. He seemed really hot so we kept him out of the sun for the most part on Wednesday and Thrusday. Finally Friday morning with a pretty nasty temperature - and keeping us awake from 3 am and on we went to the Emergency Room and found he did have a double ear infection.

Here's the good thing about being awake since 3 am with Raymond - we were able to catch the BEAUTIFUL sunrise --- it was gorgeous. Thanks God for letting me know you're there even for small trauma's like a crying, miserable baby and tired, cranky mommie.

Mommie knows best - I should have gone with my instinct and Tuesday night given him Tylenol or Benadryl - some day I will eventually trust that mommy intuition. Every time I teethed growing up, I got an ear infection - it seems Raymond follows that same pattern. And it seems he's ALWAYS wghen we travel. So we've visited many different urgent cars, doctors, hospitals in our 1 year with him. So we got some antibiotics, loaded him with tylenol and he did his best to be happy. He still went on rides and tried so hard to be happy - what a good baby.

Thursday night we went to Crabber's Cove -- another great memory of mine growing up. We did catch pictures of Raymond and Hunter "booming" the crab as I used to holler haha. Raymond is such a great baby - he tries so hard to be happy and have fun when he feels just plain rotten. He is hard to handle when he doesn't feel good though - he gets frustration tantrums - and he's soo strong - not a pretty site sometimes. By Friday night he was so miserable and couldn't fall asleep but couldn't be comforted by us either - we just wanted to get in the car and drive home and let him sleep - but MomMom and Papa convinced us to wait until morning. MomMom SOMEHOW got Raymond to sleep and we all slept togehter in their room.

(Brandon and I did get special treats of holding him while he slept this week. When he doesn't feel good is the only time he'll really let you do that.)

Saturday

Woke up bright and early and just hit the road right away. The ride wasn't bad at all - Raymond slept a lot - the poor thing - I wish I could comfort him better - but he is so independent I have a hard time when he's that tired/miserable. He goes to Brandon for comfort not me ..... I guess becuase I'm always doing all the grunt work/details (like getting stuff together, packing, or at the doctor's office filling out paperwork, etc.).... if I could do things over - I'd say give me Raymond - you go do the details Brandon... I wish Raymond would come to me for comfort.... oh well. That's the life of a mom and a woman sometimes -- do all the important unnoticed, unappreciated work.

Anyway!! All in all - it was a great vacation and even with a nasty ear infection in both ears - we all had LOTS of fun!!! and made some great memories. We got some souveniors (shirts for the boys, lots of books from MomMom, lots of pictures of course, and a dolphin each from skee ball, a whale each from skee ball, a wolf from the water game, horse from the horse game and dog from the water game). What fun! Great weather, great friends (family), great kids. We are so blessed! :) and can't wait until next year already! haha :)

Oh and for the record...Final Competition Results:

Bocce Ball - Randi 11 Brandon 8 Daddy Cat 5

Skee Ball Randi 190 Brandon 200

Skee Ball Randi 280 Brnadon 230

Bocce Ball Randi 8 Dad 8

Bocce Ball Roxie 7 Randi 10 Dad 6

Rook Randi & Brandon 570 Dad & Ryan 75

Bocce Ball Daddy Cat 11 Brandon 5

Skee Ball Daddy Cat 330, Brandon 290, Randi 280

Water shooting game - Randi

Water shooting game - Randi

Horse game - Daddy Cat (with lots of debate)

So needless to say - I won this year's Wolfe Vacation tournament of games :) Until next year my faithful opponents!

Music

I have such a deep passion for music. Sometimes I say to God, "Father, was I meant to be a dancer, singer or performer and something got messed up?" I mean, music just deeply and truly touches me - singing, dancing, playing any sort of instrument. It just GETS ME. Touch isn't the word -- more like grab and capture.

I tend to love everything. and I'm one of those people that can just find beauty in a room full of rocks and pebbles. I love everything and can appreciate excellence in ANY field - BUT music gets me the deepest.

I remember a friend Travis telling me that when you have such a strong passion or emotion like that - it's usually a talent or calling that God is trying to bring out in you. But I've heard myself sing and I've seen myself dance --- and although I LOVE doing those things - I know it's not a joy for others around me haha. It's like in MY mind I can see what I'm doing and hear how I'm sounding - but it doesn't come out that way . So I can't really use them to glorify God in any way- except between Him and I.



The only thing I am remotely talented in with music is playing the piano. And I stopped studying that in high school. My piano from grandma that I received in 1992 is up in New Jersey - untouched. I can't wait to be able to play it again and play it seriously. I really do look forward to be able to have some creative outlet again. I look forward to time on the piano to just release... and to connect with God through the music.



I can't even express into words what I feel when I hear excellence in music. and to think that I was born almost 100% deaf until the doctors finally got it right the 3rd time I had the tubes put in! These new reality and talent shows (American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, etc.) have made dancing and singing "cool" again --- and I think it's incredible. I love when millions of people in the viewing audience see the beauty in a (clean instead of slutty) song or dance - they feel something in their SOUL reminding those liberal devil worshipers that we are more than a brain, heart, legs and arms. Who we are is our SOUL - something you can't see - we are not just our physical being. When we can convince these tree loving baby killing people this truth--- every argument will fall in place in the right direction after that.



(for the record, I realize that a lot of negative sleazy stuff is also shown on those TV shows -- God gives all talents -- and they can be used to glorify Him or for a weapon of the enemy... it's a CHOICE --- BUT even on secular TV shows, there are glimpses of excellence that really are a reflection of the glory of God and I recognize it)



THANK YOU GOD for music. Thank you for these wonderful ears to be able to hear these pieces of heaven around me. Thank you so much for giving me an appreciative heart. I love you and I love the beauty You have allowed us to experience in a world that is also filled with such pain, loss and evil.

We are off on the road again yet again Saturday morning (another wedding), when I get back I will be blogging all about our vacation last week in Rehoboth Beach with the Wolfe side of the family! YAY! :)