My angel

After we buried grandma next to Pop Pop in Maryland, MomMom (also known as Mama, Mamawolfe or Cita) drove us back home to North Carolina. She stayed from last Friday until today and just left and again I am broken heart-ed. She IS my angel. I don't even know where to start in explaining what a wonderful woman she is. EVERYBODY who knows her says she IS an angel. She was sent here by God to bless the lives of those all around her and she HAS and continues to every day.

When she comes down to visit (we try to see each other every 6 to 8 weeks)... she flitters in here with her butterfly wing hugs, bringing peace, fresh air, fun adventures, that silly laughter and fun songs and then before I know it she's gone leaving only TONS of gifts and food from Costco, usually a whole bunch of house improvements and always flowers in my flower pots that sat empty before she came. She leaves me brokenhearted that she's gone again yet a much better person knowing I had my MomMom influence, praise, love and encouragement in person for a short time.

We talk every single day - many days it's numerous times a day but there is nothing like having her HERE with me to DO things together or just "sit and be" like I love to do.

I never know how to re-pay her except to be as good a mom as I can to Raymond and appreciate everything she gives. If I could be 1/10th as encouraging, uplifting and simply "nice" as she is then Brandon will be a happy husband and Raymond will be blessed so I'm trying!

God - I just don't understand though!! WHY was I given the absolute BEST mom AND grandmom EVER!!?? It just doesn't seem fair to others.... why do I deserve them (I don't) and what can I do to show my appreciation. I am not anywhere near being as great of ladies as they are --- I need help knowing how to be a better wife, daughter, friend, person. I want to be more like them, I am not happy with the person I have been these last months. Call it depression, call it heartbrokenness, there is no excuse, I need a change and I need to get my life back on track.

Thank you God for MomMom and for grandma and for the ability to be able to start fresh and new every day - because of the gift of Jesus, I know I can be forgiven and can start anew -- all things are new in you. Please help me be more like these women in my life.

Reminder to blog later more about MomMom -- what she was like when I was growing up, in my teenage years, college, when Raymond was born, etc. etc. Maybe even write her life history with her some day like I did grandma.