Some things I don't like, Some things I do

I took Raymond to the beach today and yesterday before work and we had the best time. But as I was watching my little boy roll around all over the sand and in the water and all over the place until he looked like a shake n bake chicken --- or a seasoned porchop as MomMom calls it, I started thinking how some people would be SOO bothered by that! Some people can't STAND to have sand all over them, or on their baby - but me, I just don't care. I'm one of those type that says, make as big a mess as you can, LIVE and then we'll just clean it up ALL real good later. I don't clean as I go - I just GO and clean later! :) So sand doesn't bother me... BUT there are some things that do bother me, believe it or not:



Some things I don't like:

• When you go to take a bite of food at the beach only to realize it's all sandy and then you have that sand crunch between your teeth --- oh that sand crunch is the worst!! haha


• People who don't have a backbone (ex: when somebody is gossiping about a friend of yours and you just sit and listen or even worse join in instead of letting the gossiper know that they are mistaken about your friend, and you won't tolerate anybody speaking negative about them in your presence)


• the sound that occurs when your dad is tying the hood on your snowsuit (I was probably 8 or 9 when my father last did this for me -- yet I STILL think of it)


• stepping in something wet with your socks on


• those silly packaging peanuts that come in shipments ---- grrr I can't get them off of me and into the garbage sometimes! When I worked at Disney World and that was my duty for the day (unpacking inventory boxes and putting items on display) I used to have all out brawls with those things


• the fact that I can sweep, vacuum and get on my hands and knees scrubbing to get Lennox's hair out of the house --- and the next night, it looks like it hasn't been cleaned in weeks :( I love Lennox the most - but that hair!!! geesh!


• people who can't explain their actions. if you do something and I don't understand why - I'm going to prove - I want to challenge people to be able to STOP and THINK. Let's not just let life float us by - let's change! God can change ANYBODY. If I ask WHY you did something, you should be able to answer that question - WHY did you do that? dig deep if you have to. WHY. Is it because you are seeking acceptance? Do you consciously make those bad decisions over and over again because you are selfish? Because you have a low self esteem and are looking for approval? Just STOP & THINK for a second --- you have to train yourself to be able to think about your actions in terms of the consequences (why is it that men in general can't seem to form this link.... women seem to always be able to link their actions with consequences but not men)


• people who don't smile! (especially if you are looking at me and I catch you. it's okay that you are looking at me - it really is - but at least SMILE if I catch you. I CAN see you and I'm smiling ! so smile back!)

I think that is all my venting for today.

Some things I do like:

• nature - everything about it. God is the ultimate artist and what beauty He has created all around us - just incredible! I can appreciate ALL types of art - every single type of music, every sort of visual art, dance, EVERYTHING. I love it all. I wasn't blessed with a lot of artistic talent - but I sure was extremely blessed in my ability to appreciate the small things in life, the big things, EVERYTHING!


• Sunsets and sunrises --- I just think the sky is the most beautiful thing God created


• No wait -- I think water is the most beautiful thing God created! Water is absolutely breathtaking when you think about it - especially the ocean - but any sort of water. What an incredible work. It can consume me sometimes when I sit and watch - even just the small little brooks & streams we have near by --- that all lead to the Cape Fear River that all lead to the Ocean - this world is just incredible


• a loyal friend who wants to lift up and give NOT always just lean on and take


• A person who can discuss. A person who can talk about things other than Paris Hilton, the latest town gossip, and their outside appearance. I don't want to hear how you are doing, the physical, superficial you, I want to talk about YOU, the SOUL YOU!
• A person who isn't so wrapped up in their own insecurities that they can actually look PAST themselves and open themselves up to others and be vulnerable enough to give of themselves.
• People who can forgive!!! People who really do LOVE others. People who can see the long term in life and realize that in the end - none of our earth "junk" really mattes!!! We are called to LOVE others. No matter what they have done to you (or you THINK they have done to you) it is your job as a christian to love and forgive and forget. Look what you did to Jesus - and He forgives you. Do the same for others. You can't truly know your maker if you are closed off to His people. You can't be for what God is for --- but against what He's for. If you are for God, you must be for what He is for. If you are against what God is for, you are against Him. If you are for what God is against, you are against Him. I don't know what all that has to do with each other - or if it even makes sense. But that is the way my brain works. I just sit at the computer and I can type as fast as I think so I just let it flow - scary isn't it.

My Angel - Part 2

I just can't express how close MomMom ("Cita", "Mamawolfe", Mom, Mommie, Mama) and I are. She truly was my best friend until I met Brandon (now they share that title along with my other immediate family members - sister Roxie, brother Ryan, dad "daddy cat"). Growing up, I literally spent more time hanging out with mom than I did any friends or peers. When I had a night off, and wanted to go do something fun - I usually decided to do something with Mom!! She's just the most fun! and I just love being with her.

A while back, a site was doing an essay contest (sometime around Mother's Day) and I wanted to enter a blog about her. But of course I got sidetracked. But I had started a little 'essay' and I wanted to put it here.

My mother, Glennie Jo Wolfe, has always and will always do her best to shine God’s light. She constantly pours out love abundantly and freely that shows she is a reflection of God, who is Love. Many people call her an “angel” although we know that she is only human, but really she is, in my eyes, one of the best reflections of God I have ever seen on earth.

I believe that God is the only true source to get eternal approval, acceptance, forgiveness, and humble love. But these are the qualities that “MamaWolfe”, as so many affectionately call her, just exudes. Growing up, I had such a great picture of God through Mom. I was given incredible praise when I did right, forgivness when I did wrong, acceptance and approval always. I saw what love really meant through the love from my mom. It was humble, it was patient, it was kind, it was not self-seeking and it was always forgiving.

The light in MamaWolfe sometimes was so bright that it offended the sin in me. I believe that this is what God’s heart is all about. Offending the sin and evil in others while at the same time having acceptance and approval and forgiveness for the repentant heart! God would never offend the sinner – only the sin. MamaWolfe always tried to do the same. She had such a high standard – making sure we understood that we, as Christians, were on a different “playing field” than the rest of society. But any time we tried our best she was always there with praise to make us want to continually try harder. When we were weary, there she was to pick us up. When we felt hopeless, there she was to lead us back to the giver of Hope.

My mom has done more than physically and emotionally teach and care for me. She, along with my grandma, led me to my Savior that gave me eternal life. The world would be a different place, if everybody had a mother (and grandmother) like I did. I am ETERNALLY grateful for them and hope that they know how much I appreciate and value all they have given me.

Grandma's Eulogy

At grandma's memorial service & her graveside service both - we were given the chance to speak about grandma so I did each time. It really is not even okay with me yet that she has gone on to heaven. I LOVE to picture her there and I LOVE that she is happy and I rejoice that she is finally FREE and age-less and without pain and sorrow. But I will never really be 'okay' with her not being here with us. It's just not ... right.

I actually DON'T feel like a piece of me is missing though --- because she IS a piece of me, and I'm still fully here. If anything, a part of me, the spiritual realm is with her - but it isn't missing. Her physical presence wasn't what was a piece of me...it was HER - and so that piece is not missing. So that isn't really what I'm feeling... I'm just feeling - sad. I guess that's the only word. I just miss HER physical presence temporarily. It won't be missed for long though. Life on this earth is so short. A whole lifetime is a blink of an eye. And so being gone from her physical presence for the rest of my life is really ... weird.. BUT in the LONG RUN, the final long term, it really is okay. "When we all get to heaven"....I will realize that earth time was NOTHING and what matters most is that I will be with all my loved ones for ETERNITY! .... Anyway... that's my thoughts on that. And here were my thoughts on her passing....

Words that describe grandma: faithful, calm, peaceful, humble, strong, challenging, intelligent, compassionate, beautiful, wise

Grandma and I have such a great connection which made it very difficult for me not to be there holding her hand when she went to heaven. But in the midst of my sorrow and pain, my comfort came from the place it almost always came from in the past --- grandma. On Mother's Day, I pulled out her life history we had written in 2002 and started reading and the words we had written together brough me on my knees praying to the Lord. As always, she comforted me - as always she brought me right back to the Lord and that is where I was when she passed - on my knees praying... right where she would want me to be. After the initial shock and hysteria - I felt a calm wash over me and I felt joy. I knew where grandma was and I rejoiced with her. Thank you God for knowing exactly what was the right time - thank you that she is no longer suffering. Thank you for allowing me to have all positive memories of her.

Like I always told grandma - it just doesn't seem fair for other people - I was given the world's best mom and world's best grandmom. I always understood the value of what grandma had given me. She had given me the introduction that would lead me to eternal life. Thousands will go to heaven because of her decision to spread the gospel. [exponential growth] I look forward to seeing how God has rewarded her in heaven for all her work on earth.

Grandma had so much to be proud of, but she seldom talked about all her accomplishments. When I asked her what she was most proud of (was it skipping so many grades in school, being a chemist, a professor, a computer scientist) she didn't name any one of those, she said without hesitation, "I'm most proud of your mother". [in other words she was most proud of her role as mother]. And then she added, "and helping to raise my grandkids". How appropriate that gradma would go to heaven on Mtoher's Day - a day she was most proud of. Just like PopPop went to heaven on 4th of July - the day of celebration of things he was most proud of -- freedom, country and tradition.

It's a challenge to live up to the standard that grandma set for her family and those around her. When God came and picked her up on Sunday, I know He exclaimed well done my good and faithful servant! Thank you GOD for grandma - she has changed the course of my life for eternity and for generatinos to come. She never gave up on any of us even when we lost our way and I believe her prayers kept us protected and lead us back to the right path.

I just want to end with what grandma told me in 2002 was her life philosophy - Matthew 6:33 - but seek first His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.

What I love about Brandon - Post # 5

Brandon turns 27 tomorrow and as each birthday passes, I always reflect back on the other birthdates we have celebrated together. The first birthday we had today Brandon turned 22 (2002). On his 23rd birthday, our relationship really was serious (I was still down in Disney World finishing my internship) and he was in Wilmington taking summer classes. I came up to visit him and I left for him a bag of 23 Hershey kisses. In each Hershey kiss, I had taken out the Hershey paper and put in my own paper with 1 "Reason I Love B". So there was 23 in all!! Then he was able to open one a day while I was gone back to Disney.


I pulled this bag of Hershey's notes out today from our "Brandon & Randi Box" and I was just cracking up at some of the things I had written. But first of all I have got to give myself a pat on the back for that gift! How creative! Man, no wonder he fell in love with me haha. But like I told him, I courted him so good when we were dating --- now that we're married, it's his turn!!! haha So here they are: 23 reasons I Love B (year 2003)

1. Loves music! Loves to dance! (and boy can he dance!! I LOVE watching him dance! We just have FUN!!! So important! We can sit and appreciate all kinds of music together - we just like to have a good time! All the weddings we go to - we don't even drink and are the first ones on the floor - everybody else has to be drunk it seems to have fun - but not us! We don't care how young or silly we look - we love fun!)
2. He's not afraid to hold my hand anymore (YES the boy would not even hold my hand in public at one point! OH how times have changed!)
3. His original phrases and how he says them (which I am too embarassed to repeat here)
4. He's got the BIGGEST heart - but tries to hide it (for some reason he did used to try to hide it! But he felt safe with me and after time, he understood that being vulnerable is a good thing. The light he has is a gift and he was holding him for himself and it was selfish.)
5. He's a wise ol owl (how appropriate I used this in my vows!). He really is so wise -- that will be post # 6
6. Holds me so tight when I'm about to cry (and yes even after we had only been dating less than 2 years I had a lot of tears in front of him! I was 11 hours away from my family for the first time in my life!)
7. He keeps his nails clean and neat (long story haha)
8. Because we'll be together for eternity (I think that in 2003 Brandon really started to believe that too)
9. I've never met anybody like him (SO TRUE!)
10. He's the best teacher I've ever had (YES! I really think he should have been a teacher, a coach or a pastor as a profession. BUT in so many ways he is each of those - it is just not his profession. I can't wait to see what he chooses to do with his talent - he is going to change so many lives!)
11. No matter what, I feel so safe & content when he's next to me (and yeap, I still feel this way. I always loved that he was a man's man. I knew he could always protective me - physically, spiritually, mentally - that was so important to me and was something all my previous love interests lacked)
12. Because God has great plans for him (I always did believe this and still do. There's something about him. Everybody sees it. We can't wait to see exactly what path he chooses)
13. That butt! Those muscles! (hehe :) )
14. He's so supportive (to everybody, not just me. He is a great friend to so many)
15. Best listener ever!!!!! (I can't post this loud enough!)
16. His laugh (man, I love making him have a good laugh - I love being silly together)
17. soft feet (he has the softest feet - I was always amazed by that haha but also the most sensitive geesh! The man can't even walk outside without shoes haha)
18. his tiny (sexy) lips! ( Enoguh said)
19. Everybody respects & listens to him (yeap -- because of # 15 and because of my previous posts)
20. Always means what he says (which I can't say is true for myself)
21. thinks before he speaks (# 20)
22. Talks to ME more than anybody (I love this. I loved it back then and I love it now - that I am his best confidante. I love that we know each other secret's and nobody will ever know more about us than each other. That's so cool when you think about it)
23. Because he took the bait! Just kidding! (haha we can't figure out who through the bait that first night but it doesn't matter - somebody took it!)

OH WOW I just realized I did more than 23! There's more!

24. He makes me laugh
25. He's my family (so true. Being so far away from my family - we were each other's family very soon after dating)
26. His honesty (see previous post)
27. He's the most patient being ever (This may have been true in 2003 - but I think I've worn off on him and he's a little less patient --- but he's still WAY more patient than the average person)
28. His beautiful blue eyes (!!! I can stare at them forever. Some of my favorite life memories involve doing nothing but looking into those eyes. It's appropriate I'm writing this because one of my favorite memories of him is the way he looked at me before I gave him this gift. That was the first time he looked at me and I knew he was in love with me. He just had the look of love on him. One of my other favorite memories is each summer looking into each other's eyes while holding each other in the water (either the pool at the Blockade Runner or the ocean). ahhhh)

So there you go it really was 28 things! and I know I could keep going - but I'll leave it at that - the original 28 things I loved about "B"

What I love about Brandon - Post # 4

Well - I don't really have one specific quality to talk about today. So I just want to write a 4th post about Brandon (TOMORROW is his 27th birthday so I will let him read all these blogs as a birthday present!).

I LOVE how Brandon loves me. I love his way with words. I love the vows he made for me on our wedding day and I LOVE that he has kept them or tries his hardest to if he has fallen short. I am going to share them on here. I can count on him and I know his love for me is true, pure, and for eternity. Raymond has such a stable foundation because he can look at our relationship and see that we are his rock. I LOVE that Brandon loves his wife and is proud of it!

Brandon's Vows to Randi:
I, Brandon, take you Randi to be my sunshine, my good times, my Heaven in the form of a girl. I thank you for bringing out the best in me, and I promise to always bring out the best in you. I promise to accept you for who you are, but to always challenge you to be all that God wants you to be. And just as iron sharpens iron, I will not shy away from friction and tension, for I know this is how we grow stronger. I will celebrate with you in times of victory, and I will comfort you in times of loss. I will dry your tears and feel your emotions without wondering how I can solve things. I will be faithful to you and faithful to our God forever. I will battle for you each day and when you are too tired, I will pray for you at night. And most of all, I promise to love you more today than I did yesterday and I promise to do the same tomorrow.

Randi's Vows to Brandon:
Brandon, I admire and respect you so much, you are my steady rock and my wise ole owl and I can’t wait to share you with the world. You are the man God has been preparing me for and I know He has an absolutely incredible plan for our future. I will be with you in sickness and in health, through the hard times and victories, times of joy and times of pain, I will never leave your side. I will make you so happy and I promise to always smile when I see you. I will bring out the best in you and be your biggest cheerleader. I promise to be the wind in your sails, as you steer us to prosperity. I have so much faith in you and I promise to always uplift you to our friends and family, never letting anything come between us. I am committed to endure, committed to grow, committed to love and most importantly committed to always forgive. When nobody else believes in you, in us, or our dreams, I always will. Today, I willingly commit myself to you as your best friend, your greatest fan and your exclusive lover forever. I am so proud and excited to be your wife. I love you.

What I love about Brandon --- Quality # 3

The next quality about Brandon that I LOVE and am SO thankful for is his honesty! He is the most honest person I've ever met in my life. The man can't tell a lie. Which can be a curse and a blessing - as can be seen in the movie Liar Liar. Brandon is unlike any other man I've ever met in so many ways - but especially in this way --- he can't distort the truth. and we all know how much I LOVE truth!! I do! I love it! I think I love it so much because so few know the real truths!

But I digress..... Because of this trait, Brandon is a man I can count on, a man of integrity. He's my rock - the one I can go to when I'm really ready to confront the truth. When I'm not ready for the truth, I just go to him for comfort and love (and just don't ask for advice!). And imagine this -- if I don't ask for advice he doesn't give it! How amazing is that!? He says, "unasked for advice is criticism".

In the beginning of our relationship this quality in him was difficult for me to understand - I couldn't understand why when I told him a conflict or issue I was having and asked for his advice he told me things I didn't want to hear! He told me things that wouldn't make me feel better - he just answered my questions, plain and simple. He wasn't in puppy love just trying to impress me with his words like too many others had done before. He didn't tell me things just to make me feel better, "oh it can't be you. you wouldn't do something like that. it's not your fault. bla bla bla" .

When most men would simply lie to keep themselves out of trouble -- Brandon can't! So he's in trouble quite often. Actually I'm just kidding about that - he has a way with words. He has the amazing ability to step on my toes with the truth yet never scuff on my shoes (my ego). I can't describe how he does it but I love it! I am so thankful for it. He's the place I can go where I know I'm going to get the truth - whether I like it or not. He's my thermometer to tell me where I am at. Am I way off? Am I the one at fault? He sure will give me the information I need to find all that out. He has the ability to see things from all different perspectives and always shows me a side of things I would never see without him.

We share the trait of honesty in a way. I am never scared to speak the truth to somebody. If they ask me what I truly think - I am going to tell them. Unfortunately, I haven't mastered how to not be offensive. I am just an extremely passionate person that sometimes I miss the mark and I do scuff up the shoes of others. But at least I'm honest! I'd rather people be honest with me and for me to know the truth then for them to be fake and live in an existence that isn't real and is based on un-truth.

Without truth there is no trust --- without trust there is no relationship. The end. Thank GOD for Brandon, and this gift he was given to not tell a lie.

P.S. There have been a couple times in the past 6 years he has tried! And let me tell you ------ that left dimple shows so deep - I catch it from a mile away!

The Diary of Anne Frank, Nature, Hope

Raymond and I stopped by the Leland library to get our library card! This really is a cute little town. The municipal area/library area is just beautiful. I love when towns put effort & money into beautification projects.

Okay oops, that isn't what I meant to post about at all. I get sidetracked typing, because I can type as fast as I think, so I just sit down at the computer and let my thoughts pour out. My point was that I went to the library! While in there I stumbled across, Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl... so I took it! I read it in just a few days which is pretty impressive with how little time I have to read! and I LOVED it. The writing itself fascinated me, but I just love history so much and to get a glimpse into her perspective and what was happening to her and her peers was just... crazy I guess is the only word. The whole time I was reading of the horrors, I thought, thank God for Winston Churchill and brave men like my PopPop who would invade on D-Day to fight such radicals -- Nazism, Socialism, Communism.



Like it or not... EXCEPT for stopping these awful "ism's" war never solved anything. I bet that those Jews sure were grateful to have rescuers that were willing to invade other countries for peace in the long term. What is so terrifying to me is that the ideals that were being promoted by these Nazi's and other radicals have invaded our own country by our own people (if I have to claim liberal democrats as part of us) and it's seeped in so slowly 'nobody' has realized it! This is crazy!!! I'll save that for another post, this is supposed to be about Anne and her beauty.


I am pretty sure I had to read this in school at some point, but I just don't remember it. When forced to read a book for school, I really didn't get a lot out of it (if I even read it) compared to when I get to read it on my own. Maybe I just get so much more out of the books I re-read now because of how much I've changed and grown.


Anne was absolutely amazing to me. I really can relate to her in a lot of ways, as I'm sure every reader can, which is what made the diary so popular. But my favorite portions of the journal were Anne's optimism and the lack of fear of death and harm that was headed her way. She was able to find purpose, meaning and beauty in the midst of her storm, what I would call being resilient.


Here she is trapped, completely bound and as un-free as I can imagine being on this earth, and she writes this, "I looked out the open window too, over a large area of Amsterdam, over all the roofs and on to the horizon, which was such a pale blue that it was hard to see the dividing line, 'As long as this exists' I thought, 'and I may live to see it, this sunshine, the cloudless skies, while this lasts, I cannot be unhappy'. The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature, and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of Nature. As long as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles."


Incredible! One of the reasons that I think Carolina is one of the most beautiful states. The Carolina blue cloudless skies. The skies on our honeymoon were also fantastic.. I'll never forget how beautiful the ocean was - so endless and beautiful - it gave me peace looking at it as always and was humbling to watch and gaze at with Brandon at the start of our life together as husband and wife.

Later she writes,


"And in the evening when I lie in bed and end my prayers with the words, 'I thank you, God, for all that is good and dear and beautiful!' I am filled with joy. Then I think about 'the good' of going into hiding, of my health and with my whole being of the dearness of Peter, of that which is still embyronic and impressionable and which we neither dare to name or touch, of that which will come sometime; love, the future, happiness and of the beauty which exists in the world, the world, nature, beauty and all, all that is exquisite and fine. I don't think then of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains. This is one of the things that Mummy and I are so entirely different about. Her counsel when one feels melancholy is, 'think of all the misery in the world and be thankful that you are not sharing in it!' My advise is, 'Go outside to the fields, enjoy nature and the sunshine, go out and try to recapture happiness in yourself and in God. Think of all the beauty that's still left in and around you and be happy!'. I don't see how Mummy's idea can be right, because then how are you supposed to behave if you go through the misery yourself? Then you are lost. On the contrary, I've found that there is always some beauty left - in nature, sunshine, freedom, in yourself, these can all help you. Look at these things, then you find yourself again, and God and then you regain your balance. And whoever is happy will make others happy too. He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery!"

OUTSTANDING!! From a 13 year old. I thought these were some of the most well written and best lessons a person can take away from life. Life goes on, how will you react to your circumstances. What will you focus on? I agree with Anne, I don't think the thing to do is ever compare yourself to other's situations. If you're miserable, your mind will wander and will compare your situation to others that are doing better really. Just focus on beauty, focus on positive and good things. Most importantly focus on God who is the creator of all things beautiful. Her words have touched me deeply. I understand her so much -- these are thoughts I have had too!

I have a good hunch that Anne was a sanguine personality like me -- especially because of all the chapters when she speaks of trying to tame her tongue! I really enjoyed this book!