Grandma's Eulogy

At grandma's memorial service & her graveside service both - we were given the chance to speak about grandma so I did each time. It really is not even okay with me yet that she has gone on to heaven. I LOVE to picture her there and I LOVE that she is happy and I rejoice that she is finally FREE and age-less and without pain and sorrow. But I will never really be 'okay' with her not being here with us. It's just not ... right.

I actually DON'T feel like a piece of me is missing though --- because she IS a piece of me, and I'm still fully here. If anything, a part of me, the spiritual realm is with her - but it isn't missing. Her physical presence wasn't what was a piece of me...it was HER - and so that piece is not missing. So that isn't really what I'm feeling... I'm just feeling - sad. I guess that's the only word. I just miss HER physical presence temporarily. It won't be missed for long though. Life on this earth is so short. A whole lifetime is a blink of an eye. And so being gone from her physical presence for the rest of my life is really ... weird.. BUT in the LONG RUN, the final long term, it really is okay. "When we all get to heaven"....I will realize that earth time was NOTHING and what matters most is that I will be with all my loved ones for ETERNITY! .... Anyway... that's my thoughts on that. And here were my thoughts on her passing....

Words that describe grandma: faithful, calm, peaceful, humble, strong, challenging, intelligent, compassionate, beautiful, wise

Grandma and I have such a great connection which made it very difficult for me not to be there holding her hand when she went to heaven. But in the midst of my sorrow and pain, my comfort came from the place it almost always came from in the past --- grandma. On Mother's Day, I pulled out her life history we had written in 2002 and started reading and the words we had written together brough me on my knees praying to the Lord. As always, she comforted me - as always she brought me right back to the Lord and that is where I was when she passed - on my knees praying... right where she would want me to be. After the initial shock and hysteria - I felt a calm wash over me and I felt joy. I knew where grandma was and I rejoiced with her. Thank you God for knowing exactly what was the right time - thank you that she is no longer suffering. Thank you for allowing me to have all positive memories of her.

Like I always told grandma - it just doesn't seem fair for other people - I was given the world's best mom and world's best grandmom. I always understood the value of what grandma had given me. She had given me the introduction that would lead me to eternal life. Thousands will go to heaven because of her decision to spread the gospel. [exponential growth] I look forward to seeing how God has rewarded her in heaven for all her work on earth.

Grandma had so much to be proud of, but she seldom talked about all her accomplishments. When I asked her what she was most proud of (was it skipping so many grades in school, being a chemist, a professor, a computer scientist) she didn't name any one of those, she said without hesitation, "I'm most proud of your mother". [in other words she was most proud of her role as mother]. And then she added, "and helping to raise my grandkids". How appropriate that gradma would go to heaven on Mtoher's Day - a day she was most proud of. Just like PopPop went to heaven on 4th of July - the day of celebration of things he was most proud of -- freedom, country and tradition.

It's a challenge to live up to the standard that grandma set for her family and those around her. When God came and picked her up on Sunday, I know He exclaimed well done my good and faithful servant! Thank you GOD for grandma - she has changed the course of my life for eternity and for generatinos to come. She never gave up on any of us even when we lost our way and I believe her prayers kept us protected and lead us back to the right path.

I just want to end with what grandma told me in 2002 was her life philosophy - Matthew 6:33 - but seek first His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.